Step 2: How to Recognize Fear
Fear is like an old oak tree. The limbs and branches of the tree look very different than the root. The part of the tree that attaches its self into the ground creating a support is the root. Sometime looking at a tree you never know how big, wide, or steep the root might be underground because it’ s hidden. Then you have your branches. The beginning part of the branch looks more like the trunk. However, as the branch continues to grow it starts to look more like the limb and then stems. People think fear comes from the feeling of being scared and / or afraid, but what people don’ t understand is that being scared is just one of the many emotions than can occur. Fear is similar to the root of the tree. The feeling of guilt, insecurities, worry, selfishness, anger, self-hate, self-pity, and shame can all be considered branches extending from the root of fear. Procrastination, being passive, avoidance, fighting, and arguing can also be branches on the same tree rooted in fear. Any and all negative emotions, and / or feelings can come from the root of fear. After branches, there are leaves. Leaves are small, dainty, and flimsy. We notice them on a tree, but no one leaf stands out more than the next and these leaves represent excuses. How many leaves are there on an Oak tree? Interesting fact, a mature tree can have up to 200,000 leaves. Ask yourself how many leaves are on your tree of fear? How many excuses have you told yourself? How many excuses have you shared with your friends and family? We all are guilty at one point or another for creating excuses on why we are not where we want to be, doing what we want to do. Our excuses are attached to negative thoughts and feeling which in many cases are growing from a place of fear. Now that we know how to recognize fear, we can now take a closer step on how to minimize it.
Step 3: Minimizing fear
When fear creeps into a situation; you must develop a selftalk strategy to minimize it to only be used when needed. Put“ fear” back in its rightful place by saying“ Fear, thank you for keeping me safe but this is not a life threatening situation I will be fine, so please go back and have a seat until you are needed.”
When your mind says,“ I don’ t have time.” you reply back“ I will make time” When your mind says“ I’ m not smart enough” keep in mind you’ re more than capable of gaining any, and all knowledge you need. Just like me on top of that diving board, I had more training than I realized. When the excuse“ I’ ll do it but I need to do this first” comes up, understand that the first step is out of your comfort zone, and will be scary, but, it’ s a part of the process in achieving your goals. The“ I’ m just waiting for the right time” excuse is world famous and I’ m guilty of using it a time or two.. What we need to understand is that fear is like an abstract painting. Everyone’ s interpretation will be different. Everyone’ s painting will look different; there will never be a perfect time in an imperfect life.“ There is too much going on right now” is another popular excuse. When are there not too many things going on in your life? This excuse indicates that you may struggle with prioritizing your needs over others. Love yourself enough to make a to-do list and start putting things in motion.“ I would but I don’ t think my partner or kids would want me to” is another excuse that indicates you may have some problems putting yourself first. Family should be there to support you just as much as you’ re there to support them. Sometimes family can’ t see, dream and or envision what you can. It’ s not their dream, it’ s yours. Love yourself enough to put things into perspective when achieving your goals. Excuse number 7“ but I need to pay the bills” being afraid to be totally independent financially is a big one, especially for young adults taking the plunge into their own business and even for established families with a sole bread winner. Also the uncertainty of losing it all too can allow this excuse to float to the surface. Bills will always be there, having a made up mind to adjust your self accordingly is part of the sacrifice.“ I haven’ t had the right opportunity yet” is another common excuse. James Johnson writer and speaker on how to live without fear said“ Opportunities are like buses – there’ s one every twenty minutes. It will never be perfect …… It’ ll present itself in an awkward fashion and show up at the worst possible time. And, when you can’ t find any opportunities at all – make one” Remember; you can minimize your fear by talking back placing fear in its rightful place. If it’ s not a lifethreating situation taking place; fear, negative emotions, and excuses should not be prominent in the forefront of your mind.
Fear is designed to keep you safe and out of harms reach. Fear can surface up in many emotions, not just the feeling of being scared. When fear talks to you, you talk back. Do not let fear and the many disguises it wears push you into never leaving your comfort zone. The memory of what happened to me on that diving board came back to my memory countless times in my life. That day I learned a lesson and the memory stood with me as a constant reminder of what to do any time I found my toes clenched down to the diving board of life. Moving into the year of 2017 as my mom said it best I encourage you to“ feel the fear and jump anyway.”
By Alexia Written
Volume 3 • Issue 1 | 2017 31