IBA SUCCESS MAGAZINE Volume 2 Issue 5 | Page 31

they have to suffer through, and we are completely unaware. Knowing and understanding the different types of abuse will help individuals to be aware of what signs to look for that aren’t visibly apparent. Economic and Financial abuse Economic and Financial abuse is when the abuser takes total control over financial resources by withholding the victim’s access to funds, or prohibits the victim from going to school or work. It could also be harassment, sabotaging a job, or career. Other examples of this could be “withholding access to money, forbidding attendance at school, forbidding employment, requiring accountability and justification for all money spent, forced welfare fraud, withholding information about family or running up bills for which the victim is responsible for payment.” Domestic Response Team (2016 Sept 9) retrieved from www.woodbridgedvrt.org. “99% of all DV cases have a reported Financial Abuse. Even though this does not leave a physical scar; it can often times leave a person feeling hopeless with no way to escape” Ninety nine percent of all DV cases have a reported Financial Abuse. Even though this does not leave a physical scar, it can often times leave a person feeling hopeless with no way to escape. Victims can feel incapable of managing their own money properly. In addition to that the fear of losing a comfortable lifestyle that they have worked hard to build together, and becoming homeless is one of the top reasons why victims do not leave. Imagine spending 20 years building a life with someone, and living in a nice home, then suddenly being faced with losing it all in an instant. Understanding the importance of surrounding ones self with positive people, having the willpower to survive, and knowing what resources are available are some ways of resolving the situation. Emotional Abuse Another form of abuse is emotional abuse. Taking a person’s self-worth, and breaking down their self-esteem is how abusers cause emotional damage. This type of abuse is extremely destructive. It attacks the individual from the core. The core of one’s emotion is closely tied to their psychological and mental state. Being in an emotionally abusive situation is like being a delicate rose that has found itself in the middle of a hurricane. The rose is beautiful with a sweet smelling scent, and has healthy strong thorns to protect itself. None of these things matters when fighting to survive in the middle of a storm. In the middle of the whirlwinds tormenting winds; the rose no longer feels like a rose but more like a scarred; beat up wilting flower; that is slowly being torn apart by the winds never ending assault. The rose is not able to recognize its vibrant unique color. It does not recognize the sweet aroma it gives off. Nor does it remember it has thorns to protect itself. The world sees a rose but the rose has slowly forgotten its identity. People who are emotionally abusive can strip a person of their self-worth, self-esteem, and over-all it takes away their selfidentity. Emotional abusers are constantly, belittling victim's abilities and competency, name-calling, insulting, putting the victim down, giving silent treatments, manipulating victim's feelings and emotions to induce guilt, subverting a partner's relationship with the children, repeatedly making and breaking promises. Domestic Response Team (2016 Sept 9) retrieved from www.woodbridgedvrt.org. This leaves victims feeling like sex slaves, servants and objects that can be beat upon when the person is in a bad mood. The blaming, harassment, bullying, and the verbal abuse chips away at a person’s selfworth, and lower the respect they have for themselves. Emotional abuse hollows out a person’s drive, and their motivation to achieve great things. This causes victims to become a shackled prisoner. “You’re fat, you’re ugly. I hate you, I can’t stand you” are a few of the many things that an abuser may say to slowly break a person down, and keep them in a manipulative state. When the person starts believing, and acting on what the abuser is saying; is when this individual enters into what can be called a mental jail cell. Psychological and Mental abuse Psychological and mental abuse is when the abuser projects words, attitudes, or actions that are negative, and hurtful. Psychological abuse can distort the way someone thinks. A person constantly being mentally abused cannot see any immediate effects of it as it evolves similar to stages of the common cold. Mental abuse is like catching a common cold, when getting sick one might feel a little low of energy. Then a dry cough or some sneezing may occur. After a while the individual realizes they are sick, however, it may not be so obvious to others. In this stage 1 the individual has minor discomfort from the mental abuse but believes it is not a big deal. In the early stages of a common cold, a person will feel sick with out showing obvious signs. A person might continue to live out there daily routine even though they are aware there are getting sick. The continued to page 32